Day 4 What a Doozie

I feel change in the air.

My morning started off sort of crazy. I went for a short walk with kids in hand. They really wanted to go and are enjoying the adventures so I decided I would walk again later for me.

Wow! Three days ago I was only going for one 15 - 30 minute walk and just barely accomplishing that. Who would have know that today I would be motivated to go on not just 2 walks but I accomplished 4 walks.

YAHOO!

My husband and I have had a hard week this week. I allowed my daughter to get a small Yorkie for her 15th birthday because that is the only thing she wanted. Her father died in January and her brother who was 35 died 1 year ago also. This was her first birthday without her dad and he always made her birthday as magical as he could. She wanted the dog and how was I going to deny her of the one thing she wanted. I went against my husband and got the dog for her. Needless to say he is not talking to me. He has not talked to me all week. I do know that our relationship the way it is and has been for a long time is weighing me down.

I know that when I took on this journey of letting go of the things that are weighing me down that things were about to change in my life. Well it looks like they surely are. My energy is changing and so are the things around me.

I have more energy already. I am eating completely differently. I am fueling my body in the best way I can by what I am choosing to eat, what I am doing, who I am speaking with, and the environments I am surrounding myself with.

Before I married my husband, I very seldom watched TV. Now I am watching TV every night. I conformed and I hate it. I remember my mother giving in to my dad's bad habits. She wanted him to come home after work and instead he went to the local watering hole. She would have to go find and make him come home for dinner. She finally stopped trying to get him home and started joining him so she could see him. She hated it. I do not want to continue doing something I hate. We are eating dinner in front of IT. THE LIFE STEALER The shows my husband wants to watch are either mindless Sponge Bob which is full of nasty innuendos or Cop shows. UGH! I always said I never wanted to watch life happening on a TV instead I want to LIVE my life fully. I want to feel things, touch them and see them.

Tonight was so refreshing because he is mad so he went out to his cave. I call his workshop his cave. Who knows what he was thinking about but it was nice for me. I cleaned and cleaned. I spoke to a few friends and felt like a busy little bee, buzzing all around getting so many things accomplished that I ordinarily would not have done.

During my coaching call with my accountability partner, she made a suggestion that begin to work on my foundation. I agreed that would be a great place to focus my attention on. I know I have a lot to learn in this area. I can not say as if I have ever had my foundation really established. I have resisted it. I also can not say as if I even know what that would look like. But I am willing to learn.

I found myself today wanting to get a job. I want to bring in a steady income where I can get caught up on my bills and put money away in saving. I want a fun job that pays well. I want to do it from home or close by. I want it to energize me while at the same time feed my soul. I want my family to be happy for me and support me in my choice. I would like to focus on supporting someone else to get to their dream life and in turn that would push me one step closer to mine.

I think this would be a great first step at establishing my foundation.

I have a commitment to loose 50lbs and to have $5000 or better in my saving by May 1st 2009.

I already feel my life changing and tomorrow I am going to release some more weights.

Picture this... My life is a HOT AIR BALLOON

I am right now tethered down and I have so many sand bags in my basket the no matter how much hot air ( fuel ) I put in to create the life I want, it just isn't going to happen.

As I continue on this path, I will be taking the many sand bags and tossing them out while rising to new heights. I will be able to see amazing new possibilities. I will be soaring on new currents of air that will carry me to new opportunities to meet new people and see fabulous new places.

My goal is to toss the sand bags out with lightning speed no matter what they are.

UP UP AND AWAY I GO!!!!!!!!!