DREAMER VS REALIST

I am excited today.

I read a blog from a former client and then went to her website only to see a picture of her and her new husband. She is 47 and has never been married until now.

What makes this really cool is she packed up her home and moved to France. She listened to her heart and her desire to live in Paris even though everyone she knows including her mother resides in the America.

She was a energetic match with France. It inspired her and brought her into a vibrational match with the man she was dreaming and creating.

We must get out of our comfort zones and take daring inspired actions if we are going to have the life of our dreams. I know this sounds like a fairytale but you know, why not live a magical existence?

I have spent my life being a DREAMER.

Reality and what the world teaches us we must do such as study, get good grades, work really hard, become successful, buy a house, settle down, get married, have kids, keep working hard, be what everyone thinks you should be and do just are some wacko BELIEFS that are not mine.

I want to DREAM. I am a DREAMER.

I looked up dreamer in the dictionary.

1. a person who dreams.
2. a person who lives in a world of fantasy; one who is impractical and unrealistic.
3. a person whose ideas or projects are considered audacious or highly speculative; visionary.

I was amazed reading the definition as it seems that a dreamer is looked down upon as one who is impractical and unrealistic. If there were not people like my self, the dreamers and visionaries, we would not have the Internet, the cell phone, the computer, the television and most assuredly we would all be the same and living REALISTICALLY.

I looked up realism.

1. a concern for fact or reality and rejection of the impractical and visionary

It is no wonder why realistic people find it hard to understand dreamers and vise verse. I have not had a job in 25 years. Whenever I start thinking I need to get realistic and get a job, to settle down and stay in one place, to work real hard or to stop dreaming something helps me wake up from that night mare thankfully.

It is most natural for me to dream and use the law of attraction to bring things to me. I get myself into trouble when I start trying to live my life according to the beliefs of others.

When I am true to who Marianne is I am a:

dreamer

visionary

traveler

leader

creator

I am going to step up and all the ME that I can BE. I am going to write about my dreams and see where they take me. Like my client above, I am going to go against the grain and live my life not someone elses.

STAY TUNED.

I Kept Going

I was riding my horse after my post eariler and I came to a place that I keep stopping at.

I was scared to move out of my comfort zone as my horse descided to buck a little and wanted to go back home. I wanted to freeze and go home also. I turned her around and headed for home.

Then my daughter told me to keep going on. Stop allowing my fear to stop me and do something new. She reminded me how many times I had told her the same thing. I knew I was at a cross roads and I could either descide to allow my fear to stop me or relax and move through it.

I jumped over my fear and felt free. I road home and was much more relaxed and so was Scribbles.

It is amazing what she is teaching me.

Clarity - Child-like Eyes

I wanted to begin this blog today writing about clarity.

Whew have I opened a can of worms.

I am looking for the essential part of my existence.

Until I find that essential - and it may not be what I think is essential - My heart won't truly be satisfied, I will not be at peace.

Unless we find the essential, our thirst cannot be quenched. Existence cannot allow it; it wants us to find out the very truth of life.

I am in a place of Divine Discomfort.

This is not about my external circumstances. This is not about my home, my job, money or lack of it, not about my marriage or my children.

This is about ME finding my essence.

I am asking to see the truth. To see without all the beliefs and concepts I have.

To open my eyes to see with wonder and clarity.

Questions I am asking myself

What do you want to do? (desire)
What can you do? (ability)
What should you do? (purpose)
What must you do? (need)

Awakening

Patience is a lesson I have to relearn from time to time.

I want to know my next step right now. I want instant gratification and the answers to my most pressing questions such as.....

Where am I going?

What is the need that I can fill?

Who can I help?

What do I do effortlessly?

If money was not an object, what would I want to do?

Where do I want to live?

What do I want my life to look like?

I do enjoy the journey as difficult as it may seem at times.

I have found through the years I have collapsed myself with others and now I find myself asking, "Where is Marianne?"

I have done this several times in my marriages. I have lost my sense of SELF.

I find when I gave up my power to conform or to make another person happy at the cost of my happiness I lost my identity. I lost touch with my soul. I lost connection to the divine.

It happened so stealth like. I gave up my power. I feel trapped. I feel like a prisoner. Sometimes I feel drained from the subtle brainwashing. Eventually, such a high level of dependency occurs that I forgot my identity I became so concerned with pleasing others I forgot the most important person in the equation: myself.

Forced into behavioural patterns that are not within my true nature, pushed to undertake things that do not resonate with the spirit within. There is a lack of clarity , no direction as I became more dependent on others, their vision became mine, their beliefs became , mine as I gradually molded into someone who I can no longer recognize.

I am now at a place of awakening, an inkling deep inside that perhaps the whole situation is not quite right. There are small clues and hints which became visable for me over time as the awakening gradually increases. What caused this awakening?

An aguement over a birthday present for my daughter. It triggered deep within, a memory, a suspicion a rebellious thought regarding the person holding my self power. As time passed the suspicions grew, I became more astute, I watched and listened, actions were speaking louder then words.

These suspicions grew until I gathered the inner strength to say no. Then I watched and listened to the behaviour of my power taker, noticeing him grasping for control by attempting to exert his authority over me in one way or another, emotional black mail, manipulation and using my personal knowledge against me. Knowing the one main way to hurt me was with my child.

Once I began to have clear focus, once I saw the true nature of the relationship, I began to gather strength and energy to reclaim my self empowerment, reclaim one of the most important aspects of myself. It is not easy, not by a long shot, in fact it is going to be a very long, painful struggle, but ultimately the reward is priceless.

The reward being freedom, wholeness, oneness, the power to be ME and develop into what I have the potential to be.

It was necessary to become aware of what was limiting my results, learn to begin accepting responcibility for the results that I am experiencing and make the conscious choice to discover the underlying cause for those outcomes.

Tomorrow I am going to go more into my beliefs. What are the ones stopping me that I must change to live the life of my dreams.